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About Digital Art / Student Core Member Arii/QuinnOther/Unknown Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
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Statistics 523 Deviations 6,257 Comments 35,004 Pageviews
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Commissions

Commissions
Info regarding commissions is here on this sheet & my tumblr: lapinleonin.tumblr.com/post/15…
&
My commiss.io. commiss.io/lapinleonin

Note me if you want a commission so we may discuss details (and if you use points, I'll convert from USD to points which you should keep in mind that $1 = 100 :points: ), and if you are to pay via points, you must wait until I open an option on this widget for you to pay through.

Newest Deviations

Ghostly playmate by lapinleonin
Mature content
Ghostly playmate :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 6 2
Breaking free - Vent by lapinleonin
Mature content
Breaking free - Vent :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 6 0
Commission- Lamiton by lapinleonin Commission- Lamiton :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 4 1 Commission - Kasami by lapinleonin Commission - Kasami :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 6 0 Commission- Amaryllis + Ilyana by lapinleonin Commission- Amaryllis + Ilyana :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 6 1 Commission - Showertime by lapinleonin
Mature content
Commission - Showertime :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 2 0
Rotomdex by lapinleonin Rotomdex :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 26 1 Annoyed.png by lapinleonin Annoyed.png :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 10 1 Uh by lapinleonin Uh :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 12 1 [OPEN] Updated Commission info by lapinleonin [OPEN] Updated Commission info :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 7 0 Mew by lapinleonin Mew :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 26 1 From behind - Cropped Preview by lapinleonin
Mature content
From behind - Cropped Preview :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 4 1
Pretty in Pink by lapinleonin Pretty in Pink :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 11 1 Sin.png by lapinleonin
Mature content
Sin.png :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 2 0
Commission - Luxray x Arcanine by lapinleonin Commission - Luxray x Arcanine :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 6 0 Dominated - Cropped Preview by lapinleonin
Mature content
Dominated - Cropped Preview :iconlapinleonin:lapinleonin 4 0


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:blackrose: Stamp: Please do not RP with my Characters by Boltonartist:blackrose:

:blackrose: All art here is NOT for use unless specified otherwise, unless it is making edits for an RP blog or something.:blackrose:

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This widget is STRICTLY for donation purposes (which I may use points earned here for a core membership, as I cannot afford to pay for one myself when I'm saving my finances for trying to move out).

:blackrose: If commissions are paid for in points, you DO NOT pay here, you do so via a custom slot on the commission widget made for you. :blackrose:

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lapinleonin's Profile Picture
lapinleonin
Arii/Quinn
Artist | Student | Digital Art
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Arii || 20 || They/Them || Long-term engaged :heart:

Other places you can find me-!:

:blackrose: Tumblr :blackrose:
Art blog: officialpainsetta.tumblr.com/
Personal blog: rotomofficial.tumblr.com/

Twitter: twitter.com/painsetta
Facebook page: www.facebook.com/officialpains…

Art stuff:

Commissions - Open by SweetDuke Point Commissions - Open by SweetDuke No Requests by SweetDuke
Trades - Ask Me by SweetDuke Gifts - Friends Only by SweetDuke Collaborations - Ask Me by SweetDuke

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Interests
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:blackrose: Commission info :blackrose:
:blackrose: || Tumblr || Facebook Page || Twitter :blackrose:

Once again. Been a while since I updated on here, a number of things have happened which have been... less than pleasant, so to speak. Though I guess I've managed.

For one, art wise. I REALLY have neglected updating my art on here. I need to kind of have some sort of reminder set for myself to upload onto here too rather than forgetting for quite a while, especially with how lately I've had a constant production of more art I guess.
My art however, has currently been posted more on my twitter and tumblr, with the links at the top of this journal. So. There's that.
Furthermore I'm really trying to improve as of late. Trying to sketch at least one thing daily, trying to work on at least one thing daily to keep a constant showcase of art I guess. Both because I want to draw and improve as an artist & because I am trying to, I guess, put myself more out there.

Though I guess the latter isn't helped if I'm not updating pages constantly <.<
Regardless. 
I've also, after one instance of having a negative breakdown towards myself art-wise & being talked to, have worked on improving my stance towards my art, trying to be critical but  not harsh to the point of getting as bad as I do usually. Which. 
Is a challenge if I'm being honest. Especially when I constantly fear being a failure. Regardless, doesn't mean I'm not gonna try. Perhaps it may help? Who knows.

That aside & out of the way... emotionally I've been no better, just about the same of a wreck I was when I updated last which. Sounds rather unpleasant I suppose. :/ but what can you do?
Perks of having mental ilnesses that drain you daily. /sarcasm
Doesn't mean I'm not trying to get by, but it certainly is frustrating.

On top of that I've had to come to terms with the fact that where I live with my parents is super fucking toxic to me...
If not parents potentially being outright emotionally abusive (though whether that is intentional or not on their part I can't say- but it wouldn't surprise me since in the past they were emotionally & physically abusive & yes the physical part is gone, but the emotional abuse shit is still there after all I guess)
This which was decided after discussion with multiple people about things that happen back at home, & coming to terms with that is just. Difficult as shit. Doesn't help that my parents don't exactly believe in emotional abuse & even after multiple times trying to talk to them about the things that hurt me, they antagonize me for that & play victim & always call me overreacting to everything they do & a lot more things I'm not gonna go into depth with on here.

It makes me realize though that I REALLY need to fucking move out of here though. Soon.
Because I'll be honest: living here has been just. Eating away at my mental state real fucking bad. In several ways.

I've been desperately trying to post commission info on other places (& might make its own deviation here too) in addition to turning to trying to find jobs or something so that way I can just. Move out of this place. My plans would be to move out to go live with my fiance, even if they live in a different state, hence why I'm so desperate to get funds so I can leave & keep my state from worsening.
But so far that hasn't been as successful as I'd like... & it's just like, well, am I ever going to be able to get away?

...Anyway.

I've come off antidepressants (on my own behind my psychiatrist's back since he's a damn pill pusher, not to mention they did nothing to help me & if anything they worsened my mental state) & withdrawals have been less than pleasant too. Regardless, I at least am getting that out of the way, & hopefully soon I won't be feeling withdrawal symptoms anymore. 
It takes about 6-8 weeks for them to fully clear up, give or take? >> Though I've heard of instances where they can last longer. Who knows.

I've also undergone surgery for my stomach problems. I at least have noticed an improvement in regards to that, and hopefully it stays that way if I'm being honest because my god, this is so much better than before with constant nausea & being in fear of eating. xP
This was about a month ago, so there's that. I think I'm recovering alright? But one can never be too certain & I'm doing my best not to do anything to jeopardize recovery.
Still sucks that I can't work out for yet another month, & even then who knows if I'll be under some restrictions for working out.
Bleh. Not fun, but I'd rather not throw myself into something that'll damage me.

In regards to college, I just. I don't know. It doesn't feel like it's for me AT ALL, yet there's not really much say I have in it as in whether I want to continue or not. It has stressed me to the point of having had 5 suicidal crises this year within just the first two months alone... in addition to other factors pushing me to that point... 

But eh...

This update has been... more grim than I intended but. Frankly that's just about what's been going on for my end.

Relationship wise though. Another sort of positive thing in spite of all this (I presume?) I've managed to maintain my relationship just fine. It's been a year & a month of us being together & my partner is just someone I never would have expected to have. I feel undeserving of him sometimes. But regardless, that doesn't mean I'm not grateful for him. If anything, I feel really lucky having him in my life, for he actually has done so much for me & actively tries to help me out in addition to doing things to accommodate my mental state, especially my BPD. Which, is something I've never had done for me...? But anyway.

I also do have a skype group now that I've hung out with often, comprised of just me & 4 other people to which I genuinely feel really close to all of them. Frankly it's a relief, esp since I actually feel I can have a support system with them, & its helpful for when I'm just not doing well at all mentally. 
Granted, I don't think I'm ever OKAY mentally & just have good mental days at times, but that's besides the point. >3>
It's just. Relieving & def different from the group I used to have with someone I cut off ties with, so.

I guess that's another good thing? So yeah.

Anyway, that's all I guess...
This was uh. Not as positive as I thought but. Ah well.

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Comments


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:icondaphfloconmojo:
DaphfloconMojo Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017  Professional Artist
I really love your work! <3
Reply
:iconlapinleonin:
lapinleonin Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Well thank you! o; I really appreciate the compliment.
Reply
:icondaphfloconmojo:
DaphfloconMojo Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017  Professional Artist
no problem :) it's my pleasure ^^
Reply
:icondivinexremembrance:
DivinexRemembrance Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
HEWY YOU CUTE LITTLE SHIT LAGJSKFASLFKH
Reply
:iconlapinleonin:
lapinleonin Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2016  Student Digital Artist
AYY
HELLO THERE
B)
I finally get my ass over on here after a bit lmfao
Reply
:icondivinexremembrance:
DivinexRemembrance Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
>:'0 I've started to become more active on here cause tumblr is just so empty now lmfao probably because of all of that drama and people just were sick of it or something, idk
but i'm having better lucky, and am happier, being on here.
BUT THATS GOD, BE ACTIVE AS SHIT
Reply
:iconnightmarishwarden:
NightmarishWarden Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2016  Professional Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday! :cake:
Reply
:iconlapinleonin:
lapinleonin Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Thank you!
Sorry for the late response rifp
Reply
:iconexecutioner15:
Executioner15 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
H (Alphabets) A (Alphabets) P (Alphabets) P (Alphabets) Y (Alphabets) 
B (Alphabets) I (Alphabets) R (Alphabets) T (Alphabets) H (Alphabets) D (Alphabets) A (Alphabets) Y (Alphabets) 
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:iconlapinleonin:
lapinleonin Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2016  Student Digital Artist
I got to this all late and shit ;;
ANYWAY
I appreciate that uou
Reply
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